a year later

It is a year ago that we started our Ceramic Certificate Course in Haliburton . We are still in contact with each other. We are on the email at least 3 times a week with about half of the class. Some are very involved, others just read it. We share results, exciting moments, disasters, recipes and questions. One of the teachers, Barbara Joy Peel , is on the email list and she is very helpful.

Joanne just emailed that she is teaching 3 classes. Beginners, adults and children. Lori is starting up in Toronto and is close to doing her first firing. Charlene is still going at it and is trying to fix her kiln after it got an electric shock. Helen is busy living, but is the first one to help out if we need notes or lost recipes scanned. Ruth bought her own Whisper wheel and is getting her stuff in a local café. Lela is now setup in her basement, ready to go and still looking for some excuses to slow it down. April , our technician, went to Medalta. She was part of the 2005 Medalta International Residence Program . We haven’t heard from her how it went, but hopefully we will at some point. Last time we got an update from Mandy, she was working with a potter in exchange for studio hours.

Most of us are still trying to make it a big part of our life, and it takes some time to set it all up. I just dropped off my portfolio at 2 galleries in Victoria. We’ll see what happens. In the meantime I’m working on my orders that were a result of my show and I am still figuring out my kiln.

And I am sad that the summer is over. September is beautiful here on the West Coast, but the summer went by too fast.

"Surface" Ceramic Exhibit 2005

The show went really well. Thanks to Ruth for setting up with me, prepping all the food and the Ikebana. And to Steph for hanging in there in those 2 weeks of being around me while I was throwing, trimming and staying up really late watching cones. I was really nervous, but people showed up, said nice things, purchased some bowls, ate some good food and stayed for a while. It was a very succesful evening and I could not have wished for anything else. Thank you all for coming. It was great!

Getting it together

I realize that if I want to have any ceramic pieces in my own first solo show, I have to start throwing. It is august 9th. I have 15 days to get it together.

Jonna

Jonna. My sweet friend Jonna. She got diagnosed with cancer when I was in Haliburton. I realized when I saw her in March when she told me that she knew she wasn’t going to make it until August that this would be the last time I would get to be with her. To hang out in front of a Dutch café, taking in the spring sun and talk about nothing and everything. She was so easy to be around and so difficult at the same time. She’s had a big influence in my life and I will always love her for it. I cannot believe I am about to lose one of the most important people in my life. We talk about life and about shoes. She was a shoe addict and for the first time in our lives together she has stopped buying shoes because there is no point in buying shoes anymore. I will miss her a lot, and when I have to say goodbye because I am going back to Canada, we cry. She gives me a ring that she knows will never fit me and brings me to the train station.

When I received the dreaded phone call months later everything sort of stopped. I stopped working, caring, laughing and I stopped being myself. I was just trying to get through the days, trying not to think about her and about all the things we did together. But it was hopeless. All I could do was think about her. After a few weeks it was still the same. The beach, the trees and all the music in the world reminded me of her. I didn’t talk to her anymore in the last month before she died. She was too far gone, and we were never good phone or email friends anyway. When we saw each other it just sort of picked back up where we left it the year before. It was always so much fun. Grieving feels so selfish. You are sad about what you don’t have anymore, but for her it all just got way better.

I didn’t want to throw clay anymore. I didn’t want to do anything anymore.

Mistakes

Maybe it was all a big mistake. The breaker keeps shutting off when I am a few hours into my firing and after a retired friend (electrician) has come over to check twice and can’t find anything, I am not sure what to do. I phone the guy who sold me the kiln and he promises to come over and take it back to see what’s wrong. This is not an easy thing to do. It takes a whole day to get over here with all the ferries and in the summertime the overloads are guaranteed.

He comes anyways and takes it. He phones me 2 days later to tell me that the kiln is working in his shop and has reached cone 6 twice without any problems. Great. I go over to bring the kiln back home. I call the electrician who has put in the wiring and tell him he needs to fix it. Turns out to be a breaker problem. This is all such a hassle and it is costing me way more money than I have.

I fire a bisque and all goes well . Then 2 days before a gallery opening I do my first glaze. I am way behind schedule because of the kiln issue. And I am very good at procrastinating anyway. All my pieces for the gallery are in it and I try to copy the firing schedule from our guild, that I know so well. No problems until 3 hours after I put it to high. The kilnsitter has shut off. This is way too early. I look into the peephole and all 3 witness cones are gone (5, 6, 7). There is not much I can do about it. I should have never put all these pieces in there (not that I had a choice). It is too late now. I won’t be doing a soak to get my matte glazes to develop, because I have no idea what the temperature is inside the kiln. Obviously it is very hot and it became too hot too quickly. What a nightmare.

I called my friend and told her to keep her fingers crossed. I asked the universe if for once it could please not become a total disaster. I asked it about a million times that night. Please no melting glazes on the shelves. I have no money for new shelves.

The next day I open the kiln. Nothing melted to the shelves. Everything turned out well. Some pieces are glossy that were suppose to be matte, others are more blue than green but I am very relieved. I tell myself that I have to keep better track of what I am doing and read more about the process of firing. For now I feel nothing but happiness and relief.

Back Home

For the first 3 months back home I have not done any pottery and I am really sad about it. I am busy working and making a living and it seems to just take right over. Leaving your home for 4 months does have a big impact and it has taken me this long to get back on track. I went straight from intense Haliburton to an intense working schedule.

Then I win a design contest and we decide to go to Cuba for 2 weeks just to see the sunshine after all that snow and to rest. I slept an amazing amount of time and I felt really refreshed. It also gave me time to think about what I want and how to go about it. Can I set up at home? How do I do it. What do I need?

We are very lucky where we live and the people we share land with. We rent a 3 bedroom cabin and what was my office for the last year will become my studio. They are very supportive about it and Steph doesn’t mind my office in the living room so we are going to give it a try. A kiln house will be build outside and we’ll figure the glazing part out later. For now a wheel and a kiln will do. We buy the kiln on the way back from the airport and a day later I find a wheel. I trade time for a wedging table and feel on top of the world. We put vinyl on top of the carpet in that room and set up a water system outside to clean my stuff. The electrician puts in the proper lines & outlet and I phone the kiln guy that I am ready for the delivery.

Then I go back to work because I need to pay for all of this and a month goes by again.
It is May and I have not done a thing yet. But I can feel that I am getting there. Somewhere anyway.